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You might even say, I'm anti-religious, at least in regards to myself. I don't necessarily thing less of anyone that is religious, as long as it is a personal thing for them, close to their heart. Proselytizing I find very uncool. But that's just me. If you asked me to define how I feel, I have a hard time. I don't think there's a magical being in the sky that you have to worry about offending. I don't believe in a heaven, a life after death. I don't believe in hell, either. I think you live, you die, you're dead. One ride through, only, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. But I also feel that there is an energy in all of what some people call "Creation" (not that I believe in Creation, as a theory, or time-line). I think that there is good and bad energy, and that you can draw it toward you, based on how you act. Pretty much "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." It's like some vast primordial soup, and when anything living is created, bug, animal, human, there a little bit of that "soup" is dripped/spooned/ladled out, depending on the consciousness of the created thing. And when you die? Your energy goes back into that great soup, to be doled out later. Not discretely, but mixed in with all the rest. ( Things that make me go 'Hmmmm...' )It's making me really wonder, all these wishes being answered...
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I'm a pack rat, and so is the SO. We've been living here for 10 years, cocooned in our pack ratery. And now? We have to have major repairs on the house. New roof, windows, repiped, rewired. So that means that space has to be made for the workers. Stuff has to be sorted through - to toss, to sell/donate, to keep.
An entire frigging basement, a 2-car garage, 1 "storage" bedroom, 1 "guest" bedroom (1/4 full of junk), plus several closets.
We've been spending the entire weekend doing this. I've found stuff dated back to 2002, and probably earlier.
We have a *huge* trailer (well, 15'x9'x5' at least), and figured we'd only get it 1/2 full. It's over 3/4 full, and we still have a ton to go. But the trailer is leaving tomorrow, our contractor needs it for work. And I've been inhaling so much dust, I don't know how much more I can take.
I've found quite a few treasures, amongst the chaff. But I'm so tired of sorting through stuff. And we've only done the garage, the basement, and one closet. The plumbers are coming the 29th, and after them? The electricians have at least 8 days of work. Not to mention afterwards they have to repair all the holes in the walls, and repaint. And we have to hope the cats don't get out, because they've never been out, and I don't know if we'd be able to catch them again (especially if they get out while the workers are here, but not us).
But since we painted the outside two years ago, and had to replace the heating/cooling system them, too... it will almost be like a new house.
I better not have to do any major repairs for at least 10 years after this.
*cries*
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I seem to have trouble keeping houseplants going, except for ficus. I couldn't figure out why, when most people say they drop leaves at anything. Then I researched it a bit, and found out that they like to be drenched, and then dried out completely, so my intermittent watering habits are good for them. And last night? The SO told me that one of my indoor plants had an amazing smelling flower. Now, the only flowering plants I have indoors are my amaryllis, and only one of those has flowered this year. But the others had shown no sign of flowers, only leaves. So I went over to the window to take a look. Now, my nose isn't the best sniffer around. I think it's from that weekend I used Zicam, thought I was getting strep throat, but realized, after I missed a dose, that it was the Zicam causing the pain, not the cold. Haven't been able to smell a variety of things since, especially delicate smells. Although my staff will tell you that I can't smell stinky patients either, but I take that as a blessing. But as I approached, I smelled this wonderful scent, kind of like freesia, but more earthy/musky. What did I find when I got to the corner?  My Mother-In-Law's Tongue plant ( Sansevierias) had a flower! I didn't even *know* they could do that! When I found out my best friend, Lynette, had inoperable cancer, I changed. I got on this kick to have living, developing things around. To my few ficus plants, I added a dracena, the aforementioned Mother-In-Law's Tongue, a horsetail plant, and a variety of amaryllis. I also started a container garden of tomatoes, 2 strawberry pots, and indoor AeroGrow herb garden, and some Chia herbs in the window. And I got fish, 4 zebra danios, 2 bettas. I did some research, and found out that Sanseveirias bloom extremely rarely (they said once a decade). If you want them to bloom, you have to keep them root bound, low on fertilizer, and rarely watered. These plants are making me feel better about not taking good care of them...
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I bought a pair of black jeans at Walmart, artfully faded. They were on sale ($17 marked down to $12), and fit really good. I was worried that the "jewels" on the back pockets would come off with time, making them look cheap, but I thought that if I got at least a few wears out of them, I could then pull them all off and just have black jeans. I left them in the closet for a few weeks, and then decided to wear them to work on "Casual Friday". Yep, they fit great! But just before lunch, my office manager stopped me. "Wait, turn around... is that a rip in your pants?" I spun around, putting my back to the wall, and reached down. Yep, there was about a 1-1/2 inch horizontal rip in the lower right rear, just below the pocket. "Turn around again, let me see," she said, and I did. "There's also a rip on the leg." And there was, about 2 inches long, right where you'd cut them off if you wanted to make Daisy Dukes. But I had one more patient to go, so I had them seat him, then walked in, making sure to keep my front to him. I finished his exam, with only an awkward moment when he tried to be the gentleman and let me walk out first, but no way. And as I walked out? I felt a breeze. On my upper back thighs. It was like some kind of nightmare, the one where you are at work/school/the mall, and really "feel" a breeze going by, then look down, and you're naked. The freaking pants had ripped across both back thighs... and were splitting up the middle. Not along a seam, no... along some unseen weakness in the fabric. As if when they had "distressed" them, they'd done too good a job. They fabric was brittle, and the fibers just... disintegrated. "You can go to the mall, and get a new pair," the staff recommended. Yeah, right. Like I'm going to the mall with my ass hanging out. So I drove home, 35 minutes each way, on a 90 minute lunch, to change pants. Because I *know* there's a pair of pants in my closet that will fit, but not sure if there's one at the mall (if you forget the "ass hanging out" thing). And now I'm PTSD about every new pair of pants I wear... The culprit, draped over the trunk of my car, as I returned them to WalMart. And get this exchange. Salesgirl: "We might have another pair. Do you want to exchange them?" Me: "Um... no." 
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Rest in peace, my FishyBoy. Last night, FishyBoy (aka BigBlue) died, after a prolonged illness. From ich to popeye to gill disease, through multiple courses of tetracycline, and ampicillin. My good boy tried to eat until 3 days ago, even when I had to drop food just in front of his mouth because he had gone blind. He was such a personable guy. Whenever I walked anywhere near his fishtank, he'd first freeze in recognition when he first saw me, and then swim madly to the front of the tank, dashing up and down, making little gulpy motions with his mouth. He'd follow you wherever you went, not just under the feeding slot. He loved to flare at the "big bad mirror fish" (see the video below), and put on a magnificent display. He was so happy, making big bubble nests, up until his first bout with fin rot, about 6 months ago. Only little bubble nest after that was better, and in the last few months? Nothing. I don't know when he was born, but I had him from early April 2008 until last night. He was the biggest betta I'd ever seen, at least twice the girth of any other. He was a very special boy, the only fish who's managed to capture my heart. Rest in peace, my FishyBoy. Tags: fish, fishyboy, pets, sadness
Current Location: the dining room
I feel...:  sad
Boppin' to...: the bubbling of his empty tank
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The SO has been gone for the week, and I've been stuck at work late, or at meetings. I finally got home at just after 7, having rushed from work to the computer store to pay for a... quad something motherboard with 4 gb of ram?... plus a 1.5 tb drive to replace my C drive. I've been without a PC for almost a month, after it gave me the dreaded "config.sys file not found" message. They got it up and running, reloaded, but after they turned it off? Same thing. So now it's that the motherboard/processor overheated, and fried, so a new one (above) was needed.
So I've been turning on the 5 year old laptop intermittently, for 30 minutes at most, just to try to not fall too far behind. And failing. But anyway...
I decided to try to get caught up with "Lost" tonight. I had the whole season, minus one episode (Dead is Dead), and thought I'd watch the last 2 episodes of last season (I never saw the finale) on DVD, then jump into this season. I was DLing the missing episode, and went to find my DVD set.
As I was doing so, I looked at the Comcast DVR screen. It had said "92% full". Now it said "83%". WTF? So I looked.
Because I had like 6 hours of TV to record tonight, I guess it deleted my older stuff... the first recap episode of Lost, and then the 2 hour season premiere. Now, if I don't have 5 hours of it? I might as well wait until December 9th, then get the S5 DVD's to watch.
I really didn't have time to watch 16 hours of "Lost" And I'm sure I would have run up against a wall, and had to delete other stuff before I watched it.
So fate, I guess I should say thanks, since I've stopped cursing you.
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Just when it seems I'm at my limit... something else happens. Got home from work today, and the SO told me that the PC wouldn't connect to the internet (which it has been doing intermittently for some time, you have to restart it to get it working again), so he restarted it as usual. The whole "Shut Down, Restart" bit. And when it should have restarted? It sent him a message. That the Windows Config Sys file was not found, and the Set Up disc needed to be used to try to repair it. And I can't find the Windows disc. *headdesk* And the people who have been repairing it are very... hard to get ahold of. And while they replaced 2 drives, put in a USB port, and hooked up my WiFi, I haven't heard from them about a bill. I called them about it, several times,but I have this problem. I think I might have to find someone else, but I don't know who. I got their name from the phone book... I guess I'll have to look for another, and hope my precious files are OK. I get nauseous when I have computer problems, or anything significant goes wrong (like sick pets). And I have 2 sick pets right now, and now this. I was feeling sick before the computer thing. Tags: computer woes, so tired
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In the Pacific Northwest, we usually have pretty mild weather, probably due to the buffering effect of so much water nearby. We don't get too much snow usually, just a day or two, maybe up to 5 max (once in 10 years).
The newscasters did a "crying wolf" thing yesterday, leading a lot of people to call in "snow", but there wasn't much. But last night and today? A significant amount. Probably not more than about 2 inches at my house, but it was well below freezing, and there was a lot of ice. And north of me, towards Seattle? Lots of ice, snow, crashes and spun out vehicles. The big guy called me this morning, asked how it was, and decided to close the offices.
So I have a snow day!!!
I feel a bit guilty, because K went into work at 6 this morning, threading his way between the spun out cars, trucks, and buses in his WRx (*love* that car!). He called in, and the recording said "no emergency, no cancellation", so in he went. And when he got there? Almost no one else had come in. And in Seattle, the weather has only gotten worse. So they finally canceled work (at 11 am), and now he has to try to get back home. Through all the wrecks of those who tried to come in later.
And when I look out the window here, in the South Sound? It's... well it *was* sunny. I just went to look, and it's socking in again, and snowing.
I hope he makes it home OK...
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I bought a Western Digital 1 terabyte Home Addition My Book. I've had it now for like... 4 months? Maybe more. I backed up all my stuff on it. And about a month ago, when I got a video Nano... I downloaded a lot of videos. But it was filling up my hard drives too much, so I finally decided to bite the bullet, and move stuff over to my My Book. Because it was safe, and all.
And now my computer can't recognize it. And it appears that it has failed. The light is not moving up and down, it just stays on. I can feel hear the fan start up, and drive appears to be spinning, but there is no icon in "My Computer", and there is no tray icon.
I put a call into WD, but "all technicians are busy", so the operator (from India) took my number, and they will call me back tomorrow.
And I had just moved all my QaF Vids to it. Thank god, it was too much trouble to move all the music. But I lost all my vids! And all the other nasty fun porn vids people had sent me over time.
I wanna cry!
Does anyone have the "Ready to Go" vid? Or links to any site that has vids?
*rocks self*
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In Days of Yore 
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
worried
