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I go in for my biopsy tomorrow morning. And I'm nervous. Very, very… - Happy's Obsession
or what I do between bouts of Real Life
qafhappy
qafhappy
I go in for my biopsy tomorrow morning. And I'm nervous. Very, very nervous.

I might even go so far as to say scared shitless.

Not because of the procedure, which will be much less invasive then the surgery (although still invasive).

But because I'll have a better idea of what's inside me.

Is it cancer? Is it benign?

And the doctor didn't want to give me any kind of sedative, because she said that the surgeon should Rx it. She didn't want to take responsibility for giving me meds, if she wasn't the one seeing me.

After the surgery center told me that she would have to be the one to Rx it.

So she finally gives me 2 Ativan - for $9.50. And I usually get an Rx of 80 for $10 for anxiety (although I haven't had to use it for over a year). I had to go through multiple calls to multiple doctors, just to get lectured to and overcharged for a medicine that I'm already Rx'd. That I keep around for a security blanket.

Damn doctors.

*hugs self*

*rocks*

I'll be OK, right?

*hopes*
60 Voices or Sing to Me
Comments
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beloved4always From: beloved4always Date: June 9th, 2005 02:42 am (UTC) (Link)
(((((hugs))))) and prayers for you Happy, that all things will be well :)))
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you.
sandid From: sandid Date: June 9th, 2005 02:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Best wishes coming your way.

Rocking yourself does help when your alone.

Go for it. Keep telling yourself it will be ok.

qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for the wishes.

I'm trying to be upbeat. Things will be better.

It will be OK. Yes, it will.
xoverau From: xoverau Date: June 9th, 2005 02:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Whatever happens, I swear to you, you'll deal. *hugs*
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much.

I'm usually really upbeat, but it's getting difficult.
From: itsjustkristen Date: June 9th, 2005 03:01 am (UTC) (Link)
I'll be thinking of you!

PS Package arrive yet?
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Yes, it did!

I have one to go out to you (I just have to finish the last one of the set).

Have you read William J. Mann before? "From Boys to Men" and "Where the Boys Are"? They are a series, and really well written.

If you've read those, I have some others I can offer.
jenepherre From: jenepherre Date: June 9th, 2005 03:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Honey - regardless of what you find out, it will be okay. You're doing all the right things - getting this checked out. Yes, it's terrifying, but you'll get through it no matter what.

If you have a prescription for some kind of anti-anxiety med, you might take the bottle along with you and take one of those if you think you need it. But I didn't have any kind of sedative when I had my needle biopsy. Just a local anesthetic. It really wasn't bad at all. I don't know if they're doing the same type of biopsy for you or not, but regardless, you'll get through it. Try to focus on relaxing every muscle in your body, and let your mind drift a little. Don't think about what they're doing. It'll be over before you know it.

Also, I'm sure you know this, but they won't have results for you immediately. They may be able to give you some general information about the composition of the nodule, but you won't have a "benign or malignant" answer for a few days or a week or I-can't-remember-exactly-how-long.

Sending you lots of hugs and positive vibes. Call if you need to.
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, Jen. The voice of experience is always welcome.

I'll call you when I know anything.
mi_nion From: mi_nion Date: June 9th, 2005 03:12 am (UTC) (Link)
I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.
Hang tight!
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:56 am (UTC) (Link)
I'll do my beswt. Thanks.
weirdqafan From: weirdqafan Date: June 9th, 2005 03:24 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm sure you'll get through the procedure fine and I'll definitely be thinking of you hun!
*hugs and cuddles you*
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:56 am (UTC) (Link)
*leans into your cuddle*
littlemisstexas From: littlemisstexas Date: June 9th, 2005 03:28 am (UTC) (Link)
You'll be in my thoughts and heart, you'll most definitely be alright. *huge hugs*
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much.
twistinside82 From: twistinside82 Date: June 9th, 2005 03:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Good luck Happy! I'll keep you in my thoughts. *hugs*
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, I can use all the happy thoughts I can get.
(Deleted comment)
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:54 am (UTC) (Link)
3 nodules in my throat/thyroid. Discovered by me when I had a sore throat - thought it was a lymph node, found out it was the smallest of the 3 I had (just more superficial).

I'm having biopsies tomorrow to find out how soon I have to have surgery.

Hopefully, it's benign, and I can wait until Aug 2 (better for my work schedule). It's pretty big, and messing with my airway a bit - so I have to have it out, regardless of benign or cancerous. It's just the timing of surgery that changes.

If it's indeterminate, I have to decide how worried I am it's cancer, and move the surgery up or not.

If it's cancer - I get it out as soon as possible.

*stressed*
(Deleted comment)
ljnewfan From: ljnewfan Date: June 9th, 2005 03:53 am (UTC) (Link)
*hopes along with you*

I hope it isn't serious. Good luck tomorrow.
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks
dawnybee From: dawnybee Date: June 9th, 2005 03:57 am (UTC) (Link)
You're damn right you're going to be okay!
:hugs:

Sending you good thoughts!
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 05:30 am (UTC) (Link)
*receiving those thoughts with great love*
andtheafterglow From: andtheafterglow Date: June 9th, 2005 03:59 am (UTC) (Link)
*big, huge hugs*

good luck! ♥
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 05:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
tclark1922 From: tclark1922 Date: June 9th, 2005 04:17 am (UTC) (Link)
My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow. I will hope for the best possible outcome. Take heart and know that you have the support of many people.

Peace
TK
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 05:31 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm so grateful for my good LJ friends.
smartwomn1 From: smartwomn1 Date: June 9th, 2005 04:29 am (UTC) (Link)
warmest, most positive thoughts
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 05:32 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much.
phibetafunkay From: phibetafunkay Date: June 9th, 2005 04:47 am (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*

*keeps fingers crossed for good news*
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 05:33 am (UTC) (Link)
*crossing fingers with you*

Thanks so much!
jammer1027 From: jammer1027 Date: June 9th, 2005 05:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Sending GOOD thoughts your way!!!!
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 05:32 am (UTC) (Link)
Receiving them gratefully!
on_axis From: on_axis Date: June 9th, 2005 05:26 am (UTC) (Link)
I am sending hugs and things! ♥
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 05:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so much!
the_lady_revan From: the_lady_revan Date: June 9th, 2005 07:28 am (UTC) (Link)

~Big Hugs~

Lots of prayers and happy thoughts for you. I know we will all be thinking of you tomorrow.

~more hugs~
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 07:50 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: ~Big Hugs~

Your support means a lot to me. Thank God for my LJ friends...

*hugs*
paddies From: paddies Date: June 9th, 2005 08:31 am (UTC) (Link)
*sends positive vibes*

*hugs*

qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 08:57 am (UTC) (Link)
I really appreciate that!
sapphire9977 From: sapphire9977 Date: June 9th, 2005 09:04 am (UTC) (Link)
You're in my thoughts honey! and whatever happens you have a lot of support and love around you! Remember that! *big hugs*
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 09:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! This has proved it!
From: theiax Date: June 9th, 2005 09:27 am (UTC) (Link)
You'll be okay, with your positive attitude it will be fine. I'm in my third year of all clear after surgery for breast cancer. Very scary time, but with the help and support of family and friends you'll be fine, Happy. I can tell you're a fighter.

Good luck, and I'll be thinking of you.

H
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 09:36 am (UTC) (Link)
I hope so (to be a fighter).

I feel rather like a giver-up-er, right now.

Just gotta recharge those positive batteries...
luceononuro From: luceononuro Date: June 9th, 2005 09:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Happy - I wish I could convey how hopeful I am for you and how much your post made me want to sit beside you and wrap my arms around you

Remember to breathe

Love L.
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 09:38 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much.

Sometimes all we can do is breathe. Concentrate on that. The in, the out, the tidal flow of life. Never stopping, until the end.

Breathe.



Thank you!
bliss_ From: bliss_ Date: June 9th, 2005 10:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Remember to call me!
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: June 9th, 2005 03:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
I will. I should be home by about 12:30 pm my time.
quinn222 From: quinn222 Date: June 9th, 2005 11:29 am (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*
60 Voices or Sing to Me
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