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I've got to stop stressing out - Happy's Obsession
or what I do between bouts of Real Life
qafhappy
qafhappy
I've got to stop stressing out
I was so worked up about screwing up my namesake website last night that I almost threw up. Couldn't eat dinner, thought I was going to have an anxiety attack... way, way over the top. For hours. Then everything got straightened out, but I was so keyed up that I was on the verge of another panic attack when I went to bed, had to work hard to fight it off...

Then I dreamed that I was in college, and met the love of my life - who happened to be a good friend first, and blossomed into love. He did the sweetest things for me... I was so in love! We were kind of on the down low temporarily, but so perfect together... But he was on the wrestling team, and got knocked into a coma during a match, and they didn't know how he was going to do. I was shaking all over, crying, trying to hold it together to find out from friends just back from the hospital what was going on... then the alarm woke me up.

Not the most restful night. So... I've got to stop stressing out about stuff that isn't really that important. And I hope that it is my meds being a little off that is causing this anxiety. I'd hate for it to be the beginning of another 'dark time'.
7 Voices or Sing to Me
Comments
slashpile From: slashpile Date: August 23rd, 2005 04:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
There's almost certainly some body chemistry whack-dom going on, not just from the meds but from your body healing. It's got its own issues to thrash out, y'know? It just needs to take you for the ride, too.

Hmm. I'm terribly curious...do you know what the hell this dream is? Cathartic, or nightmare?

Sending good thoughts, anyway. I've been obsessing over backrubs lately. If I could send you an online massage, imagine it sent :)
rhiannonhero From: rhiannonhero Date: August 23rd, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
not just from the meds but from your body healing

Very true! And studies show that going under any kind of anesthesia increases a person's emotional reactions and levels of depression/anxiety for months later. It just makes sense.

Still, it's no fun. No fun at all. :(
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: August 24th, 2005 02:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm not sure. I mean, the boyfriend could be my voice, which I always secretly really liked (my laugh, to sing, etc) but didn't really express that in public. And now it's suddenly damaged, and I don't know if it will recover.

Or, it could just be a nightmare. I don't know enough about dream analysis to determine...
rhiannonhero From: rhiannonhero Date: August 23rd, 2005 04:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have you tried any natural anti-anxiety supplements like Kava Kava (before bed) or the like?
qafhappy From: qafhappy Date: August 24th, 2005 02:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
No, but I'll definitely have to try it. I can't take these exhausting nights.
hygher From: hygher Date: August 23rd, 2005 05:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
*hug*
darksylvia From: darksylvia Date: August 23rd, 2005 08:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
jeez, your dreams are like prime-time drama! Entertainment ALL THE TIME :D

I think you're entitled to some stress with what's been going on, but I know it doesnt' feel so good living with it. I hope it's just the meds throwing you out of whack, too.
7 Voices or Sing to Me