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What I've Said Those Close to Me Pick a Day, Any Day All About Me QaF Vault - great fanfic! In Days of Yore In Days of Yore On to the Future On to the Future
To quote luceononuro.... - Happy's Obsession
or what I do between bouts of Real Life
To quote luceononuro....

Please, God, whatever voodoo deity I upset to make things this screwy, please, please let them forgive me!

Went for the surgical consult. Or, for what I thought was to "discuss my options".

Turns out my options are surgery soon or sooner. No other options there.

Called the hospital to see if I could move my biopsy up. I can't, but it's a good thing I called - because they had "scheduled me in the wrong room, and couldn't do the procedure that day." The earliest they can do it? June 9th. So I have to tell work about my problem - which I wanted to avoid if at all possible.

I asked the surgeon when I needed to schedule the surgery. His answer? "Well, at least after the biopsy." I have a full work schedule until the end of June, my sisters engagement party at the end of June, and then I'm working intermittently for other docs 3 days/week until the end of July.

So I scheduled the surgery for the first week in August, pending the outcome of the biopsy. I also called the doctors I'm supposed to be working for, and told them that I might need to cancel if my surgery has to be moved up.

So now pretty much everyone knows. It used to just be my LJ friends. I don't know how I feel about everyone knowing, and worry that it might affect my job prospects.

But I guess that's just deflecting my main concern - namely, the likelihood of death.

I mean, I know we all die. From the smallest bug to the biggest bristlecone pine, we all have our time.

I just expected longer than most. I mean, I do drink a bit, so that takes a little off your life. Don't smoke cigarettes, so that's a plus. Am overweight, so another minus.

But my family has a history of living a long time (the women, at least). My maternal grandmother lived to be 96, her great aunt to be 104, and my mother is now 70. My paternal grandmother lived to be 90, although her last few years weren't very good. The men... well, they don't last as long. My maternal grandfather was 75, and my paternal grandfather was 72. My dad is already 73, but is slightly poor health. But he was an exercise nut who also loved to drink. So...

Maybe this is nothing.

Maybe I'll be fine.

And maybe my sister-in-law will return someone's call to let us know what is happening with her, and maybe my computer will be recoverable, and maybe...



ETA: I realize that my posts have gotten rather morbid of late, with my obsession on my physical health. And I know that can be boring to many people. So I'll try to limit those posts as much as possible, but sometimes I just need to get stuff off my chest.
11 Voices or Sing to Me
bliss_ From: bliss_ Date: May 31st, 2005 10:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hey.....I just tried to call you....running out to eat now, will call again after I get back!! :)
quinn222 From: quinn222 Date: May 31st, 2005 11:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
u2_grrrl From: u2_grrrl Date: May 31st, 2005 11:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's your journal, you write anything you feel like writing!

mi_nion From: mi_nion Date: June 1st, 2005 01:35 am (UTC) (Link)
I started my journal to rant about my health. If you don't believe me, check out my memories. Since I've started using it for fun, I've toned it down some, but my feeling is if you have to vent somewhere, the cyber world is the easiest place to do it. Sometimes posting about all the stuff going on enables you to get up and get on with your life and day to day living.

luceononuro From: luceononuro Date: June 1st, 2005 01:40 am (UTC) (Link)
I for one would be completely freaked out if you weren't posting so please keep us all up to date. It's a strange thing about other people knowing that we are facing the unknowable - it makes it more real - which is hard - but it also allows folks to rally around you. You need support now - this is a huge deal to be shouldering anonymously.

I take it that the biopsy determines treatment and your surgery schedule - good thing you checked about the room - glad that's straightened out.

I think you have hit your negative mojo limit - I have conducted all the deity appeasing rituals - expect good things from now on

Thinking of you
sandid From: sandid Date: June 1st, 2005 01:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Like someone else said, "It's your journal".

Sometimes we all need to vent. Venting can keep you from wanting to pull your hair out or worse.

If you need to let it out do.

Best of luck to you....
kinneytay From: kinneytay Date: June 1st, 2005 02:15 am (UTC) (Link)
Happy, we are all here for you.
I agree that if you didn't post, I would be more worried. So you just keep posting and letting us know what is happening. We care! *hugs you tightly*
rae_1985 From: rae_1985 Date: June 1st, 2005 02:22 am (UTC) (Link)
Write anything you want to in your journal. If people don't want to read it, no one is making them.

I haven't been around much recently, but I did notice you are going through some tough times. If you need anything, even if it is just sharing porn back to you that you no longer have access to, just ask. I would be more than happy. I hope you feel better soon, and things get back to normal for you.

xoverau From: xoverau Date: June 1st, 2005 04:54 am (UTC) (Link)
The odds are for you, remember that. Heredity is a big thing, and you're young. Also, I'm familiar with many ways of beating illness naturopathically, so if you'd like to talk, ever, I'm on AIM at xoverau.
luciblue From: luciblue Date: June 1st, 2005 05:23 am (UTC) (Link)
When I was 12, which wasn't too long ago, My back started hurting like a motherfucker. I went to the hospital and like, 12 hours later was told I had to have surgery immediately. I had a staph infection on my lower spine. I had to learn how to walk all over again, and then I had an IV in my arm for 7 weeks thereafter.

I was absolutely fantastic several months afterwards. And I'm absolutely fantastic, now. Things'll be great.
skittles From: skittles Date: June 12th, 2005 03:26 am (UTC) (Link)
No one can blame you for wanting to get stuff off of your chest. I mean, you are dealing with a seriously heavy load here. We'll talk more tomorrow though okay? I want to know how you are REALLy doing, especially now that you had the biopsy.
11 Voices or Sing to Me