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What I've Said Those Close to Me Pick a Day, Any Day All About Me QaF Vault - great fanfic! In Days of Yore In Days of Yore On to the Future On to the Future
In my family... - Happy's Obsession
or what I do between bouts of Real Life
In my family...
...beautiful hands were prized.

One of my earliest, and fondest memories of childhood, was how my mother would always reach out, and place my much smaller hand palm-down on her own, and then lightly trace the back of it with her fingers.

"You have such beautiful hands," she'd say, wistfully. "I inherited my fathers hands, all veiny," she'd sigh, then pull her stroking hand back, as if ashamed of it.

I'd look at her hands. They were "mother" hands, dishwater roughened, with slightly large knuckles from cracking them, and the very faintest hint of nicotine stains between her index & middle finger on her right hand. And, of course, the mildly prominent veins. They comforted me when I was scared, and always took care of me. I knew I could count on those hands to always be there if I needed them.

Then I'd look at my own. Small, fine skinned, no sign of veins anywhere. I had a classmate with the porcelain white skin of an almost-albino, and you could see the blue-lacework of her veins all over her body, even on her eyelids. She was practically an anatomic map of vasculature, just walking with (or chasing balls) with you. But not me, no way! You couldn't see a vein in my hands at all. I felt blessed.


That was years ago. As I look at my hands now, I see my mother's hands (minus the nicotine stains & big knuckles). I wash my hands multiple times a day in the health-care field, and I guess I'm at that age where I start losing subcutaneous fat... although I'm not a skinny girl, by no means. Or maybe it's the steroids I've been on for the last two years, maybe they've thinned my skin, maybe irrevocably.

In any case, I've no longer got the "beautiful hands," although I do believe I have very capable ones. And I wish I had my own little one, so we could marvel together at the splendor and beauty of her perfect, youthful skin...

It's strange when you look in the mirror, and see your mother/both grandmothers staring back at you. I'd never have thought it, although who am I to escape my ancestry?
2 Voices or Sing to Me
ta_wanda From: ta_wanda Date: June 3rd, 2008 02:50 am (UTC) (Link)
This touched my heart.

hsifeng From: hsifeng Date: June 3rd, 2008 03:47 am (UTC) (Link)
Your hands are beautiful sissy. I remember thinking along a similar track when I realized that my hair was starting to get thinner (thin as it already was, the curly factor kept it appearing thick for a long time). There are days now where it looks like I have five hairs on my head. *chuckle* I probably notice it more than anyone else, but it is interesting to see this body changing.
2 Voices or Sing to Me